WJ.6: Perception Check in the Art of Communication

Perception Check in the Art of Communication#

This week I came across an article that summarized some viewpoints from the book The Art of Communication. This issue of the newsletter will focus on the "perception" discussed in the article.

Different people give their own meaning to the world, and the ability of humans to give meaning to the world they live in is called "perception." Therefore, the same thing, after going through the perception process of different people, is given different meanings. This often leads to our inability to accurately understand others, creating countless noise in communication between people.

The article introduces the process of perception: selection-organization-interpretation-negotiation, which is very similar to the reasoning ladder introduced in the article "How to Communicate Effectively" last year, so I won't go into detail here.

Next, let's take a look at the "communication communication model" introduced in "The Art of Communication," as shown in the diagram:

The sender and receiver of the message are in different but partially overlapping backgrounds, and the non-overlapping part is called the generation gap, which is the unique background of the communicators, including cultural background, family background, educational background, and other factors that create differences.
Communication is two-way, with no pure sender or receiver, even in listening, there is also focused thinking or nodding, frowning, or other body language that conveys messages to the other party.
Noise permeates the entire model, not only does noise exist in the background of the communicators, but also in the channels of message transmission and encoding/decoding. Differences in tone and speed can lead to understanding deviations. In addition, communicators themselves also have noise, which is caused by differences in perception.

The so-called perception check is to enhance personal empathy by eliminating noise caused by differences in perception as much as possible, so as to understand the other person as accurately as possible.

In "How to Communicate Effectively", I introduced the concept of inherent positions. Perception check is to check all possible positions and think from different perspectives in order to accurately understand the meaning the other person wants to express. All positions can be summarized in the following five points:

The article also introduces the steps of perception check:

Step 1: Describe the behavior you notice from the other person.
Step 2: List at least two interpretations you have of this behavior.
Step 3: Ask the other person to clarify your interpretations.

It is important to note that the purpose of perception check here is to "accurately understand the other person". The "four elements of communication with love" mentioned in "Nonviolent Communication" (observation, feeling, need, request) aim to "make the other person understand oneself". Communication is two-way, and "The Art of Communication" complements the missing link in "Nonviolent Communication" here.

Perception check also serves the purpose of minimizing the noise generated by emotions in communication.

In "Cognitive Awakening," the three brains of humans are introduced: the rational brain, the emotional brain, and the instinctive brain.

All emotions are essentially the driving force behind some kind of action, that is, the timely plan given to humans by the process of evolution. - "Emotional Intelligence 1"

The instinctive brain and emotional brain have extremely fast processing speeds, at least up to 11,000,000 times per second, while the fastest operating speed of the rational brain is only 40 times per second. Therefore, overall, the rational brain has weak control over the brain. As a result, in work and life, most decisions are often based on instinct and emotions rather than rationality, which greatly affects communication.

Those who can control their emotions are greater than generals who can conquer a city. - Napoleon

In general, our emotions are more like the result of our thoughts, rather than the result of the events we encounter. And giving different meanings to things will bring us different feelings, which are different emotions.

Regular perception checks can better examine ourselves and allow us to understand that communication is not only a conversation skill, but also a way of thinking that focuses on exploring the emotions and expectations behind the language of both parties. When we focus on each other's observations, feelings, and needs without refuting others, we can discover the tenderness in our hearts and gain a whole new understanding of ourselves and others.

This is nonviolent communication, this is the art of communication.

Weekly Recommendations#

Optimizing Input Method Experience: Input Source Pro#

Input Source Pro can automatically switch input methods based on applications or websites, and when switching windows, it will also kindly remind you of the current input method. For example, set VSCode, iTerm, and Xcode to default to English input method, while note-taking software and enterprise WeChat default to Chinese input method. You no longer need to press the shift key when switching software! (After recommending this software to my colleagues, they all praised it, it's simply a must-have for programmers)

Progressive Vocabulary Learning Plugin#

Relingo is a free Chrome extension that automatically annotates unfamiliar words on web pages. You can selectively add them to your vocabulary list based on your mastery level. Through daily web browsing, you can progressively learn English words.

Screenshot Software#

Snipaste is a free screenshot software that I have been using. It supports both Windows and MacOS. What I like most is the ability to paste screenshots on the desktop, just like sticky notes. It is convenient for me to paste refactoring drafts, key information, compare code, QR codes, and other information on the desktop:

Shottr is a recently released screenshot app for MacOS. It is powerful, beautiful, and free. It has additional abilities compared to Snipaste, such as scrolling screenshots, window screenshots, OCR, etc. However, it lacks the desktop pasting feature that I like the most, and from my personal experience, although it looks beautiful, it is not as handy as Snipaste when annotating images.

Further reading: Shottr: A Free, Lightweight Screenshot Tool for macOS - SSPAI

CleanShot X is a powerful and feature-rich screenshot software for MacOS. It has all the features of the above two software, and in addition, it also has unique abilities such as video recording, GIF recording, uploading images to the cloud, sequential annotations, etc. The interface is also beautiful, and it works well with Raycast. It also has the original "all in one" mode. The only downside is that it requires payment (now during the 618 promotion, only 104 yuan/device).

This Week's Log#

Recent Viewings#

Finished reading: Novel | "Red Fingers" | ★★★★
Currently reading: Philosophy | "Existentialist Café: Freedom, Being, and Apricot Cocktails"
Currently watching: Anime | "Summer Reunion"
Currently watching: Anime | "Spy Family"
Finished watching: Movie | "Leon: The Professional" | ★★★★
Played game: Game | "Genshin Impact" 2.7 | ★★★★
Played game: Game | "Shotgun King" | ★★★★
Currently playing: Game | "Overcooked! 2"

Shotgun King is a very creative game that modifies chess. You are the black king, fighting alone, but you have a shotgun.

Recent Code#

TypeScript React   45 hrs 11 mins ███████████████▊░░░░░  75.3%
TypeScript         10 hrs 14 mins ███▌░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░  17.1%
Markdown           1 hr 50 mins   ▋░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░   3.1%
JavaScript         1 hr 17 mins   ▍░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░   2.2%
JSON               1 hr 1 min     ▎░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░   1.7%