This article is a record and reflection on life from May to August 2023.
Recently, I have been quite busy on weekends, which has led to a lack of updates. Thank you to those who have prompted me to update:
💐 The Joy of the Present Moment#
The title of this article comes from Omar Khayyam's "Rubaiyat" — "Enjoy the joy of the present moment, for this moment is your life."
PS. I have always positioned the articles in my monthly publication as "self-dialogue." I only revise and republish those articles that I am satisfied with after the dialogue. Therefore, if this article ends up being disorganized, please bear with me; I also cannot guarantee that I can clarify this topic with just one article. Additionally, if readers find that the article may contain preachy elements, please ignore them; if there are any, they should be my own self-preaching.
The Meaning of Pursuing What Cannot Be Obtained#
Has it been a long time since you felt joy?
In today's environment, people's sense of meaning is often linked to anxiety. The pursuit of life's meaning and the search for the value of existence ultimately lead to the conclusion of "just work hard" — thus constantly squeezing one's energy and time to pursue output, practicality, and fulfillment, defining the meaning of life under "effort anxiety."
It seems as if life is like rowing upstream against fate; if you do not advance, you will retreat. Under such pressure, it is difficult for the heart to be calm, and it is also hard to fully let go and experience what joy is; while another part of people chooses to completely lie flat, giving up the pursuit of meaning to escape "effort anxiety"; yet another part constantly does sit-ups between involution and lying flat. (As for how to maintain a balance between life and work, that is another big topic. The perfect solution to this problem relates to each person's rhythm of life, so I won't elaborate on it for now.)
In the past, I felt that moments of joy outside of study and work always came with inexplicable guilt. Of course, this was not intentional, but rather a teaching from childhood that praised suffering in various aspects — "The hardships you endure today will yield sweetness in the future, and if you feel sweetness today, you will surely face hardships in the near future."
Later, I thought that people only fear when they deviate from their inner selves, thus giving rise to anxiety and guilt.
What we fear is not being able to face ourselves calmly;
What we fear is living a life of mediocrity;
What we fear is the pursuit of meaning that cannot be obtained.
A leader once told me: "If your inner self is fulfilled, then even if you spend your life selling pancakes, it is still a valuable life."
After some reflection, this statement does not encourage detachment from the world, nor does it ask me to compromise with the environment and fate. If you have done your utmost and find that your fate is truly unresistable, then recognize it — "The fact is so sad; not everyone can achieve success and fame. Some of us are destined to seek the meaning of life in the daily minutiae."
Even so, do not forget the "courage to embrace the ordinary."
If the larger environment cannot be changed, if fate cannot be resisted, then humanity's last freedom lies only in one's attitude towards life. As the saying goes, "Everything can be taken away, except for one thing: humanity's last freedom — to choose one's attitude in the current environment, to choose one's own way."
This reminds me of a quote I saw in a behind-the-scenes interview for "Soul": "Achievement is not defined externally; it depends on whether you are living according to your own will."
Thus, the solution to this question lies in "the joy of the present moment," specifically in two aspects:
- Cherish every moment of the present
- Perceive the joy in life
Cherish Every Moment of the Present#
A person is an "existence" at different moments. A person becomes a person because they exist. In other words, as Adler said: "Life is a series of moments; the most important is this very moment."
It is important to know that the moment of the present exists only in the present — there is no past, nor is there a future. Regret for the past and worry for the future are the greatest enemies affecting our lives and work, and they are the culprits that destroy our sense of happiness.
We often regret the paths not taken and frequently wonder if the outcome would have been better had we chosen differently at that time.
However, everything is actually unknowable. "Restarting Life" humorously expresses the conclusion of the so-called "optimal choice." Even if one restarts life and tries other paths, looking back, it may not be the initial choice after all. In "Finding Paradise," Sophia says: "Life is so short that we cannot accomplish everything we want to do. No matter what we do, there will always be other things worth trying, and another path worth taking. So in the end, what we can do, and must do, is to be satisfied with the path we have chosen."
It is important to know that reality has no "what ifs." What we have are only moments of the present, and the choices made in those moments, regardless of the outcome, are the best.
Cherish the present, cherish this moment, cherish everything around you. I sincerely hope everyone can learn to feel these moments and not let them slip away in vain.
Perceive the Joy in Life#
First, it is important to know that it is joy that constitutes our sense of happiness in life, not anything else.
In a high-pressure environment, I prefer lighter emotional outlets. Perhaps the simpler, purer, and more unadorned things can purify the soul. I particularly enjoy reading the articles pushed by "Daily Douban," where there are always people in the various quirky Douban groups who like to share their happy moments:
- Many times, it seems that joy is not something serious like work or study. So, I arrange work and study every day but do not really schedule joyful activities. However, sometimes I still randomly do something joyful, like learning to sing my favorite songs, practicing guitar, watching movies, writing in my diary, checking recipes to cook my favorite dishes, making milk tea and other drinks, or daydreaming by the window (watching clouds, observing the elderly and children downstairs), reading books related to recent issues, etc. — Luo Tiantian
- I love looking at the sky, watching the clouds roll by, and seeing the sunset change colors. It’s very relaxing. Recently, the sky in Dali has been filled with colorful clouds, and today I waited all evening and was really happy to see a little bit of it. I also enjoy letting sunlight filter through the curtains onto the book while reading; the light and shadow are mottled but very happy. Tidying up the room and categorizing things, clearing out unnecessary items, can be very healing. — Romantic Kid
Being able to perceive joy in life is an enviable ability, yet this perceptiveness itself is quite rare. In the article “Talking About the Value of Existence and Life Experience”, I once wrote, "Sensitivity determines the boundary (contour) of perception of the world." "Demian" also continually emphasizes the importance of perception — "As long as he is not aware of it, he is just a tree, a stone, at most an animal. However, when this perception begins to shine with the first glimmer of light, he becomes a person. In your eyes, perhaps not all bipedal animals walking on the street can be called humans, even though they can walk upright and reproduce. You know in your heart that most of these people are still mere fish, sheep, insects, and worms; how many lives are like that of a mole! Of course, everyone actually has countless possibilities to become a person, but only when he realizes the existence of these possibilities and consciously seeks to understand them does he truly possess them."
So how can we cultivate this perceptiveness of joy? I have summarized four ways:
- Slow down
- Cultivate focus
- Broaden perspective
- Always maintain kindness
1. Slow Down
Bring your attention back from the rapidly changing outside world; do not be attracted by the explosion of external information. You need to pay more attention to your inner self and your feelings each day. Keeping a diary is a good method — "Recording happy experiences and revisiting those good feelings can make one happier. Writing down bad things, in a cathartic way, can help release painful emotions and restore mental health." I have written about the benefits of keeping a diary in “WJ.19: The Meaning of Keeping a Diary”, so I won't elaborate further here.
Our lives only truly exist when we slow down and pay attention to them. At the same time, we pursue efficiency so that we can slow down and experience life, not to lose life.
Nothing is more important than sleeping well, being happy, and staying healthy.
2. Cultivate Focus
“How to Deal with Inner Difficulties” states: "When we truly call upon all our physical and mental resources, with a sense of curiosity about 'what is really happening,' to perceive an apple, a tree, a person, a thing, or to sense the changes in our own muscles, temperature, heartbeat, breathing, etc., we instantly enter a state of 'forgetting oneself' and thus experience tranquility, peace, and unconscious joy."
When we immerse ourselves wholeheartedly in what we are doing, absorbed in the feedback and feelings it brings us, experiencing every moment of the present — this state of flow brings a sense of calm, free from any worries and anxieties. It is a particularly comfortable state, where one feels at one with the world, as if time has stopped, and the soul is filled with a sense of fulfillment, genuinely feeling one's existence.
3. Broaden Perspective
Our lives belong to us; every minute and every second we spend is our own real life. If life cannot be lived in a way we like, then isn’t that a waste of life? What meaning does it all have?
Looking at life from a broader perspective, it is vast; perhaps most people are ordinary, but no one is mediocre. Everyone shares the same origin and mother; we come from the same abyss, yet everyone is striving towards their own destination, trying to leap out of the abyss. We can understand each other, but only we can interpret ourselves.
Everyone is unique; each person's life is a journey towards self-discovery, an attempt at a path, a quiet call of a small trail. People can never exist as an absolute self; each person is striving to find and become their absolute self. In this process, some are slow, some are more insightful, but none are not in their own way. Choosing to live life in a way you like and experiencing life more will make every moment of the present joyful.
There aren't so many significant problems that require us to be on high alert, living in constant tension. Life should have some unexpectedly good things that will come to us by chance.
As long as one sees through the world's embellishments, the world will belong to you.
4. Always Maintain Kindness
This point was also discussed in the article “Talking About the Value of Existence and Life Experience”, but at that time, it was analyzed from the perspective of building connections, so I won't repeat it here.
Here, I would like to introduce the Buddha Siddhartha from "Siddhartha." He was well-versed in the impermanence and illusion of human nature, yet he still loved and devoted his life to helping and teaching others. "In the heart of this great teacher, love for things outweighs love for words. His actions and life are more important than his teachings. His demeanor is more significant than his words. His greatness lies not in his teachings or thoughts, but in his life."
Recognizing Siddhartha's great wisdom, he said, "For me, love is the top priority. To examine the world, explain the world, or despise the world may be the work of thinkers. My only task is to love this world. Do not despise the world, do not hate the world or myself, but embrace love, marvel at and respect all existence and myself."
I believe that if one can reach such a state of life, harboring love for the world and kindness towards all things, then every moment in life will also be the purest joy.
🌺 Bits of Life#
In the past two months, I have experienced many things, marking one of the most challenging periods since I started working. I will skip the details of the process for now; I was in a state of anxiety and unhappiness, but fortunately, I have adjusted back (this is also the reason for this issue's topic "The Joy of the Present Moment"). Here are some records of moments.
🐑: June 1, tested positive
I finally caught it; the first positive test was very uncomfortable, and I could basically only lie down and not move, which led to me skipping the May publication. On the second day of testing positive, I discovered that my hands and feet were numb due to a high fever, and in the end, I could only maintain a strange position and could not move. Fortunately, Belle was there and took me to the hospital. After examination, it was due to hyperventilation leading to alkalosis, which caused my hands and feet to convulse; controlling my breathing rhythm resolved it. Although there was no major issue, I thought a lot during the process — I should seize every moment of experience and make good use of my precious and limited life.
🎂: June 30, birthday
I did not post on social media for my birthday this year because I am quite resistant to the arrival of this day — after all, I am 28 years old and starting to feel age anxiety.
🤒: July, gastroenteritis + tonsillitis fever
I don’t know what bad food I ate, but having both conditions at once led to a fever of 40 degrees. After going to the hospital, the doctor prescribed a bunch of medications (which also had to be taken and stored according to certain rules), and the medicine worked well; I was fine after two days.
🏸: Badminton
After recovering, I started playing badminton again, choosing two out of three days: Wednesday, Saturday, and Sunday, basically maintaining a state of two matches a week.
👨🏻💻: Work, trying to switch to iOS development
There have been significant changes in my work recently. During this time, I met many outstanding people and encountered some who appreciated me. I can feel the great expectations in their gazes, but I am also very afraid that my performance will fall short of their expectations. In short, what I can do is to work hard — do my best to handle the current tasks well. Additionally, my work content has shifted from web development to iOS development, and I am delving into the technical requirements I enjoy. I have long yearned for a client-side position and finally got the opportunity; I hope everything is getting better.
🏠: Moving
I reluctantly left my perfect house, sharing a commemorative photo of the room:
(But I moved to a new house that is 120 points!)
👩🏻🦯: W3C
I joined the W3C Accessibility Working Group and witnessed the community's working model during the group meeting, seeing many impressive foreign peers. If I can contribute to the field of accessibility in the future, it would be a fulfillment of my professional ideals.
🏆: Company Training
In the past two months, I participated in a company-level training program, where I got to know excellent classmates from my group. I hope to maintain "revolutionary friendship" in the future.
🍵: Campus Recruitment Sharing
I was honored to participate in a seminar for the company's campus recruitment training, meeting outstanding people of the same age.
🎬 Books and Media#
Here are the books and media I have engaged with over the past two months:
- Finished: Philosophy | "Demian" | ★★★★☆
- Currently Reading: Economics | "Principles of Economics: Microeconomics" | ★★★★☆
- Finished: Series | "Evil" | ★★★★☆
- Finished: Series | "D.P: Deserter Pursuit Order" | ★★★★★
- Finished: Series | "The Long Season" | ★★★★★
- Finished: Series | "The Hidden Corner" | ★★★★☆
- Finished: Series | "All Is Well" | ★★★☆☆
- Finished: Series | "The Long Night" | ★★★★☆
- Finished: Movie | "Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse" | ★★★★★
- Finished: Movie | "Searching 2" | ★★★★★
- Finished: Movie | "Thor: Love and Thunder" | ★★☆☆☆
- Finished: Movie | "Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3" | ★★★★★
- Finished: Movie | "The Vanishing" | ★★★★☆
- Finished: Movie | "In the Octagonal Cage" | ★★★☆☆
- Finished: Movie | "Life Is Not Easy" | ★★★☆☆
- Rewatched: Movie | "Shutter Island" | ★★★★★
- Rewatched: Movie | "Interstellar" | ★★★★★
- Rewatched: Movie | "Inception" | ★★★★★
- Rewatched: Movie | "Tenet" | ★★★★★
- Played: Steam | "Thronefall" | ★★★★★
- Played: Steam | "The Shape of Time" | ★★★★★
- Currently Playing: Switch | "The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom" | ★★★★★
- Currently Playing: Steam | "Dave the Diver" | ★★★★☆
I highly recommend the indie game "The Shape of Time" produced by NExTStudios and teacher oooooohmygosh.
"The Shape of Time" consists of 15 scenes and references many philosophers' thoughts on time. To introduce it with an official tagline: "Philosophy often narrates through words, while time is often defined by numerical clocks; both are difficult to visualize. Beyond language, 'The Shape of Time' uses movement, feedback, and audiovisual elements to provide a richer and more concrete perception of time and philosophy. In the experience of 'The Shape of Time,' you seem to see, hear, and touch the shape of time, even opening up thoughts on life and philosophy, especially in the quiet of the night."
Thought is a limited fragment, while time is a continuous emotion. Rather than struggling and searching, it is better to face it naturally; perhaps that way, we can draw a beautiful trajectory of life.